Yellow Fever

Yellow Fever

I’ve been listening to podcasts on my way to work and pretty obsessed with the Gimlet Media’s family of podcasts. Startup was the initial podcast that got me hooked – it was a podcast about starting a podcast startup – meta.  Season Two  is even better: it follows the story of how two women build a dating company in the male-dominated world of startups.  The episode last week covered a topic I’ve rarely heard discussed and wasn’t even really aware of, the topic of how black women have a much harder time finding quality dating prospects with online dating services. That there’s an inherent bias that becomes apparent when people are searching online for dating prospects.

On Reply All, a sister podcast from Gimlet Media, the last episode covered the story of a serial dater. This particular serial dater was a pathological liar who dated dozens of women at a time, juggling multiple, serious girlfriend relationships concurrently. The kicker was that he was a white guy that only dated Asian girls. Ugh. The episode interviewed several Asian women who had used online dating services and became jaded with the process, encountering these skeezy Asianphile predators more than once. They came away from the process with a screening process, that any non-Asian guy who had five Asian girlfriends in a row was immediately out of the running. I would go as far to say that if he had two Asian girlfriends in a row, that would be cause for concern.(BTW my boyfriend is white and his last girlfriend was not Asian) Wouldn’t you want to be the first and last Asian girl that a guy dated, not the 100th?

I reflected upon the guys that I knew in my life that only dated Asians. I think theres a very big difference from having an attraction to Asian girls and only dating Asian girls exclusively, which is usually a fetish. These guys often had a couple things in common: they would frequent Asian hookers and date an inordinate amount of of Asian girls, I’m talking dozens, 50, events in the 100s! It seems that these Asianphile guys not only fetishized Asian women but treated them as interchangeable, abundant, objects. This is only my personal observation  but I’m curious, do you agree or disagree?

Here’s a totally gratuitous and unrelated photo of myself

Style Moi striped shirt dress

Photo by: KC Nekro

Rocksbox Necklace, Style Moi shirt dress

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6 comments

  1. Kaila the kind of people that you describe i feel you are totaly correct. . I consider myself to have ‘Asian fever’ but i have not dated any nor have i ever had a hooker. Myself i would Love to get to know a Sweet Asian woman.

  3. I would agree but say it goes both ways.

    First off, I admit I have yellow fever, bad, but in a good way.

    I also have a preference and became a member of the Korean Cultural Office in Sydney, Australia. I did everything, language and cooking classes, movie nights and even tried learning traditional music instruments.

    Not long after joining, a Korean intern did everything to let me know she was interested without saying anything, not even a “wanna grab a coffee after the movie?” And that’s what made me think something wasn’t right.

    I found out she was already seeing another member who is the biggest douche on the planet and makes the guys you write about seem like angels in comparison.

    So I let it go and that’s when I started getting treated like crap by her co-workers including the director of the KCO, a diplomat with the South Korean Consulate.

    Then the receptionist became interested, 2 more interns, the librarian, all one after the other and it was like they were using the same play book. The whole time this is going on, the treatment I was getting off the co-workers got worse.

    So now I’m jaded. I have no time for Asian girls who want to waste precious time playing games but I still have yellow fever.

    Nice gratuitous and unrelated photo too 😉

  4. I guess I fell into the bad category here. I never really had much luck with non-Asian girls even though I always felt lots where sexy. Now I am madly in love and Married to a beautiful Chinese girl. It’s interesting that when you use the word fetish it sounds morally less valid than a preference. Today jugging people for their sexual orientation is quite rightly taboo while certain preferences/fetish’s are still openly frowned upon, I wonder where the line is. I remember watching James Bond, You only live twice when I was 7 and thinking Asian girls were very pretty. I wonder how I will feel if I have a daughter who will be half Chinese.

  5. Hmm…Here is my honest opinion, race shouldn’t matter…love has no boundaries, or does it? Apparently, love does has boundaries and obvious “stereotypes” & out dated :”settings” or what ever you want to call it. Racism will never go away 🙁 Rejecting someone just because they are Italian, Mexican, Puerto Rican Azerbaijan, Black, White, Caucasian, Ukrainian, Russian, Slovakian or Asian is rejection on one’s race just because they are perceived to be different, which makes people feel inferior or afraid of differences. If someone has a lovely personality, is honest, has a real connection when you meet them, a bonding of souls perhaps or deep intimate feeling that isn’t simple over-infatuation, singling that “this is the one I’ve been seeking”….maybe this is a symptom of love? And how does one experience this? It’s different for everyone, since we are all unique and obviously NOT the same. I understand if Asians or other races prefer to remain within their own race, Jews do that, mostly. Would society view it as unworkable to their reality and a threat of contaminating a races blood with blood that isn’t of their own race? Some humans are just jerks naturally, like elitists who ONLY associate with their own kind just because they view others as being beneath their power, status, popularity and authority…which, btw is racism.. And men treating women like “interchangeable objects” is what assholes do. Juggling multiple relationships at once seems a little insane to me, perhaps someone who does this is insane?? That would be quite insulting to the other women, which would all get easily offended and perhaps be offended or jaded…forever.

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